So like most of you out there, I wake up in the morning feeling more sore and stiff every day. You're too young to wake up sore, you say. Well how old do you think I really am? I am in my early 30's but I have used and abused my body far more than I should have over the years.
Growing up overweight, indulging in cheese burgers, fries, chinese buffets and pizza damn near every day. Skateboarding, rollerblading (I know it is really called in-line skating, but in the 90's it was all called rollerblading. No one cared that Rollerblade was the name of a company.), BMX and mountain biking, all take a huge toll on your body. But more than the physical abuse I put my body through, I add a lot of mental abuse on there. And that's what this is really about.
I have known for a long time, as far back as I can remember actually, that I have a short fuse and I hold a grudge for a long, long, long time. Sometimes I just can't help it. At the urging of friends I have given people second chances. some thirds, fourths and fifths. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not. An example of it not working out just happened and that's when this.. epiphany? Accrued.
I was looking through my Facebook page on lunch and I had some friends suggestions I never really delve into them, but today I for some reason began looking. I saw a face, a face I know very well. A face I have known for almost 20 years now. Me and this face use to be very good friends. Inseparable at times. But as we get older we grow, as people do.
Personalities grow, and some can adapt. We did this for years. At some point something changed. Somewhere along the lines of moving away to college things went awry. Looking back, I can't pinpoint the reason, and I am sure it was something small and now insignificant that set things in motion. I know the reasons over the years it always fell back apart. And I know the main reason now, I can't seem to make a friendship again.
But all of this is backstory. And one thing I learned from watching The Walking Dead, is most people don't like backstory You all want the action, not the Why. See I really like the Why.
I love to know why something happened, how a certain conclusion was made, the reason a story or song was written. I enjoy the history. But I am not blind to the fact most people do not car. So as I said that, I gave you more background on myself. See. I tricked you! But that is one more thing to know about me, I am sly like a fox.
Back on topic! I wake up with increasing aches and pains everyday. Recently me knee has really been bothering me. It is probably due to the face that I am out of shape and trying to get back into shape. In doing so I am putting at least 7 miles a day running on my knee.
In addition to the running, I think it is all the grudges, anger and all the crap I carry around inside that is making me feel like shit. Is there a magic happy pill? Of course not! Booze (I do not use drugs. I just never got into them if you care to learn more backstory) just amplifies feelings. But damn it tastes good.
So I am in need of not only a change in scenery, but a change in lifestyle. I need to get this shit out of my body so I stop feeling like an 90-year-old man.
.....
.....
Well some of it. There is one person I will never forgive, and that is some real hate I'll tell you. That's a burning anger that never dies down, and not one that holds me back.
But the rest of that shit, I need to wipe away and get a clean slate. Hell I'll do damn near anything to get my knee to stop hurting!
That is all, carry on.
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